The worst thing in your life is currently taking place… you have been served with divorce papers.

What do you do next?  First thing, find an attorney.  Not just any old attorney.  Not your brother-in-law’s best friend from college who practices corporate law and will do your divorce as a favor.  Not the lawyer you went to with your spouse three years ago to have your joint wills drawn.  And for the love of all that is holy, don’t randomly open the phone book to the attorney pages and pick the first number you see!

You need someone to guide you through a very difficult and complex time that will definitely change the rest of your life.   First, ask around.  Have friends or relative who are divorced?  What attorney did they use?  How was their experience dealing with that attorney?  I’m certain, with 43% of marriages ending in divorce, you’ll find someone who can recommend an attorney.  If not, call your local bar association and they will be happy to recommend a competent attorney who has experience in divorce.

So you find a few names and decide to make a few phone calls.  But what do you ask a prospective attorney to find out if he or she is right for you?  I suggest the following:

  1. Have you ever represented someone in a divorce before? This may seem silly, but you need an attorney who has some experience to guide you through what could be the most important decisions of your life.
  2. Will you take my case to trial if necessary? It is amazing the number of attorneys who will be happy to file your divorce for you, and the minute your spouse puts up an objection to anything, they tell clients that they only do no-fault or default divorces and will not take the case to trial.  You need someone with the competence and knowledge to take your case to trial, if it becomes necessary.
  3. Will you be doing the work on my case, or will your associate who is 1 year out of law school? Some of the bigger firms like to pull the old “bait and switch” routine.  You meet with the big gun, who’s been doing matrimonial law for three or four decades, you sign the retainer, and the next thing you know, the big gun is gone and you got the water pistol instead.  A fresh young face straight out of law school, and you’re how he or she is going to get experience in matrimonial law!
  4. What about the fees and costs? So you’ve been presented with a retainer agreement to sign.  Does the retainer that you pay include costs and fees, or will you have to come up with those separately?  There is a filing fee with the court, cost of deposition transcripts, cost to have a process server serve the papers, motion filing fees, the list goes on and on.  Are any of those fees included in the retainer or will you have to come up with more money for them?  What is the estimate you can expect of the costs and fees?
  5. When was the last time you were in court on a divorce? Perhaps the most telling of all.  Does the attorney answer “this morning,” “yesterday,” “a few weeks ago,”  “a few months ago,” or “well, I’ve never actually been to court on a divorce before… but don’t worry, it’s no different than suing someone for a dog bite!”  I think this is rather self explanatory, so I won’t belabor the point.

There are a number of other questions you can ask a potential divorce attorney to get a feel for their level of competence.  For instance, are they a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML)? Are they a member of their state or local bar association matrimonial and/or family law committee?  When was the last time they attended a Continuing Legal Education (CLE) program having to do with divorce?  I’m sure you can come up with more on your own.

The moral of this story, is when shopping for a divorce lawyer, ask questions.  If the prospective attorney can’t answer them, or makes you feel uncomfortable, move on to someone else.